A Fable by Aesop

“Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. — Will Rogers

Once upon a time in a far off land where the snow blows and the people wear cheese on their heads there was a governor and his evil court. This Governor was named Jim Doyle and he was a Democrat. Jim Doyle and his Democrat friends were evil people who did not respect the people of this land of cheese, cows and meat packers.

Doyle and his supporters in the public service unions were so bad they took all of the money from the people wearing cheese on their heads and gave it to the people who worked for Doyle. People like school teachers, sanitation workers, policemen, firemen and government bureaucrats.

This left the rest of the people with so little money they could no longer wear cheese on their heads nor afford to go the stadium to watch their favorite football team — the Green Bay Packers. This was so sad that many of the people began leaving the land of cheese, cows and packers for other lands where the rulers were more kind and fair.

One day two years ago the people with cheese on their heads discovered a group that could help them. This group drank a lot of teas and were liked to party so they were called the Tea Party. The Tea Party people told the people with cheese on their heads that they could make their lives better by kicking Doyle and his Democrats out of the castle and replacing them with people called Republicans. You see the Tea Party believed that these Republicans had the best interest of the people at heart and would change the way the land was run and not take so much money from the people with cheese on their heads.

They would do this by balancing the land’s budget and make the public service unions pay something for their health care and pensions. They would also take away the marriage between the Democrats and the unions by limiting something called collective bargaining. This made the Democrats, unions and public service workers very sad.

On November 4, 2010 the majority of people wearing cheese on their heads kicked the Democrats out of the castle in Madison, the capitol city of the land of cheese, cows and packers. They replaced them with Republicans and a new governor called Scott Walker.

Scott Walker wanted to be a good leader and restore the people’s money so they could buy more cheese and go the Green Bay Packer’s games. The people liked this. But when he told them that he had to make changes in the way the public service workers were compensated some of the people, mainly the Democrats, unions and school teachers didn’t like it. They got very angry at Governor Walker and began yelling a screaming in the streets. You see Democrats don’t like to lose and they are so used to power. They can’t stand it when the people they represent reject them. They are like little children when they can’t have their own way.

When Governor Walker and the new Republicans wanted to pass a new law curtailing he power of the unions 14 Democrats ran away to another land where they hid out in a nice hotel where they ate curds and whey and pouted all day. They said they would not come back to the castle and do their jobs unless Governor Walker promised not to take away the union benefits. They were so used to getting their way on everything they just could not stand someone else being in charge.

The people of the land of cheese, cows and meat packers were confused by the actions of the 14 runaway Democrats. Some of the people, with the help of the unions and the black king of a faraway land to the east began to gather at the gates of the castle and scream and yell at the new governor.

The black king sent his jesters, trolls and community organizers to the land of cheese, cows and meat packers to help the teachers and public sector union people make trouble. Some dressed up in funny looking clothes and some took their clothes off. They beat drums and blew horns as the danced all around the castle doing much damage. They broke the windows and painted on the walls. They screamed at the people who had come to report on what they were doing and they started fights with people they did not agree with. They were very bad people.

After some time the new governor lost his patience with the spoiled children of the land of cheese, cows and meat packers and with the help of the Republicans in the castle he passed and signed a new law that would help all of the people with cheese on their heads. The new law would take away some of the power of the unions that had hurt the people and taken their money. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and thought the people of cheese, cows and meat packers would live happily ever after. But, this would not be the case.

There was a traitor in the castle. A man who was not loyal to the new governor or the people and he found a judge who was in cahoots with the Democrats. With no real basis in the law the judge issued a temporary restraining order against the new law. Neither the traitor nor the judge really cared about the people with cheese on their heads. All they cared about was their own power.

Now the new governor and his Republican supporters will have to begin all over again. With the 14 runaway Democrats back in the castle the new governor should be able to get the new law passed again and perhaps the people with cheese on their heads will be able to live happily ever after in the land of cheese, cows and meat packers.